I’ve had long, tough stretches before as an educator – but this time its different.  This week I’ve had to engage high school kids, my college-level students, and many of my colleagues in conversations about how to deal with loss.  The week has been trying because I’ve never had so many, at the same time, collectively dealing with the same emotion. Let me give you some more context.  Last week ended one of the most bitter, divisive, and polarizing presidential elections that I’ve ever seen.  America prides (fools) itself into believing that national unity will occur after this process is over and everyone will forget the pain of their candidate’s loss. Unfortunately, this is not true.  Many deal with the loss of their candidate, and more importantly, their candidate’s ideas/vision for the future, for a very long time.  To that point, I’ve equated this particular electoral loss to grieving the death of someone that’s loved.

Based on their age and the area where my students come from – a mostly progressive and diverse place – they only know the political and social world through the lens of the Obama era.  They believed that America was becoming more universally open to all forms of representation and equality.  There was an assumption that this trajectory was still on course and could easily lead to the first woman president of this country.  This didn’t turn out to be the case.  A different candidate and a different vision won.  In their eyes, this new vision promised to return America to a place with more exclusion and less inclusion. In a bat of an eye, it appeared that the world that my students had come to know had died.  For the sake of this example, I’ll personify the death and give it a name.  Let’s call their loved one, “Change”.  As an educator, I (and many others) had to begin the heavy lifting of helping our young people process the loss of “Change”.

As typical of the first stage of coping with a loss, I had to work with my students through the disbelief that “Change” was dead. For this election, there was a (naïve) belief that one candidate had better polling numbers and a higher level of acceptability than the opposition.  As folks watched the election results come in, so did the bewilderment that this loss was actually happening.  I listened to countless stories of how folks just stared at their devices in shock.  I consoled students who had tears in their eyes. I talked others through the fact that this is part of the process that happens in American political life where one’s candidate or their ideas may not last forever. Many didn’t want to accept the fact that “Change” had died.

The next stage of loss, anger, was evidenced as well.  Questions to God of “Why did this have to happen? This isn’t right.  “Change” was just starting to do some great things” were some of the common expressions.  Across the country, some folks have expressed their anger and taken to the streets in ways that were counter-productive or even negative.  Even my high school students’ energy and emotion couldn’t be contained.  Many walked out of school (peacefully, but without approval) and into the streets so that the world would know that even they were too young to vote that they were angry about the death of “Change”.  Some believed their response was appropriate while others thought it was a bad move.  I had to help students process their anger constantly reminding them to make sure that they are always honoring “Change” through constructive actions.

Debriefing with my adult learners led me to believe that they had moved into the depressed stage.  It had been almost a whole week before I could see my favorite college class. I was very eager to discuss the election with them. I could tell pretty quickly that they had processed the results and the loss had settled in.  The depressed stage leads to a feeling of hopelessness in the understanding that the loss is real and that “Change” was gone. As adults, they understand the consequences of not valuing “Change” and what losing “Change” may mean for their friends and families.  They expressed that the proposed new reality without “Change” is debilitating at its worst and sobering in the least.  Their analysis was mature and promising yet it was still a struggle for even their favorite teacher to lift their spirits.

Nevertheless, I am encouraged and rejuvenated by many of my young people who have had an accelerated grieving period and are now ready and willing to accept the loss of “Change”. They’re reflective and although it seemed as though “Change” would live forever, they recognize that there were some people in this world who disliked “Change”.  Some even celebrated “Change’s” passing.  In an effort to foster and encourage my students acceptance and optimism, I continually ask them “What do you remember most about Change? What is it you like best about Change? How can Change continue to live through you?”

Again, this has been a busy time for me because of my students collective sense of loss. With that being said, as a culturally responsive educator, I work with my students where they are.  I understand that their cultural, religious, sexual, and socio-economic identity will lead them to reflect on “Change” in different ways. For some, it will take longer to walk through these stages of grief.  Some critics would say that the students should just “get over it” having no clue how “Change” gave many of them a true sense of belonging and inclusion in America. Of course, I’ll grapple with my own reflections on the loss of “Change” but, in this moment, the development and unbiased support of my students is the top priority.  I couldn’t appreciate what I do as an educator more than this moment right now.  This has been an awesome time to teach about high expectations for oneself, one’s country, and how to love, fight, and protect the most important values in one’s life … like “Change.”